October 09, 2007
As the first day of class rapidly approaches I find myself becoming antsy. I'm ready to begin this semester so I can finish it. I feel as though I'm only trying to get through my time here. I don't want that. I want to enjoy every moment of it; take in every sight, every smell, every feeling. I want to long for more. I want to feel as if I have the world within my grasp. I want to walk down the street and think to myself, 'you're living in the Promised Land!'
But none of that occurs to me until I'm snug inside my little apartment, thinking over the days' events. Or until I get a comment from a friend on Facebook or Myspace saying, 'it must be exciting to live in Israel!' But by then I'm not outside enjoying my life, I'm back inside my little American bubble, surrounded by my American friends and my American food and my American possessions.
Although, I have found that lately (since I've been able to spend some time alone in the apartment in Tel Aviv... looking over Rechov Einstein, watching all the people come and go at the bus stop) , ever so slowly, I'm beginning to realize where I am. Reality is beginning to set in. Along with that bothering feeling of homesickness; the one you get deep inside you that tugs ever so lightly on your soul. This is a new feeling for me. Being completely surrounded by family my entire life, I've never had a chance to feel homesick. I don't think I like it very much. I always considered myself a loner; someone who could love people from a distance... but lately all I've wanted was to see my family and get folded into some good old fashioned southern bear hugs.
I've missed frequenting the local coffee shop with friends, spending hours just sitting and talking while our ridiculously elaborate coffees got cold. Even though I'm here in the land of the tastiest coffee, drinking my iced coffee with friends outside the trendiest shops right in the middle of Tel Aviv... I find myself longing for those simple coffee shops. The simple southern life.
I know it's just a phase because, in reality, if someone gave me the option of returning home or staying here without consequences, I would choose to stay. I wouldn't want to leave this place, and the feeling I get here. That strangely comfortable feeling of settling down for a nice ride on bus #25 to Rechov Allenby for that tasty coffee, or that bizarrely enticing Bubble Tea on Rechov Sheinkin. Deep down I know I'm going to miss it when I go home. I just can't seem make myself realize it.
Hello Tel Aviv... can I come in from the cold?
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